If I’m Not Your One and Only, I’m Gone

As I closed the wooden crate, I heard Rowan's footsteps echoing in the corridor again. He brought in hot water, without any maids following behind him. Are your feet still cold? He placed the basin of water by the stove, reached out to test the water temperature, and then pulled over a soft stool, just like countless nights before, to prepare to take off my shoes. I held his hand down. "I'll do it myself." Luo Wen looked up at me and smiled. "Are you still angry? We can talk about the forest patrol later." He thought I was just upset that he had turned down the captain's offer on my behalf. I did not correct it. When the hot water reached my ankles, he draped a towel over his knees and sat down beside me to wait. Seeing me frown, he even added a little cold water. He has always been very good at taking care of me. The year we became partners, a neighboring tribal chief wanted him to end his relationship with me and marry his sister in exchange for the right to pass through the mountain path between the two tribes. Rowan pushed the agreement back in front of everyone. Later, he led his forest patrol team and spent an entire winter finding a new route through the mountains. When he returned, he transformed back into human form. His hands were so cold that he could barely hold the reins, but he still remembered to take out a small bunch of dried flowers from his pocket. Those were the flowers I asked him to keep an eye out for, growing near the snow line. "The road has been found, and the flowers have been found too." He put the flowers in my hand. "Nora, stop worrying. No one can ask me to change my partner." At that time, I believed that I would grow old with him. I even thought that when we can no longer run, we would live by the lake on the west side and watch flocks of geese fly overhead every year. A small ripple spread across the basin of water. Rowan reached out and wiped away the tears on my face. "Why are you crying?" I turned my head away. "The water is too hot." He immediately went to get some cold water. As I watched his retreating figure, a tightness gripped my chest. This person will drop everything they're doing just because I say something that makes them feel uncomfortable. He would wait until I fell asleep before kissing another woman. *** When Luo Wen carried me to bed, I braced myself against the edge of the bed and sat down by myself. He didn't notice, he just pulled the blanket up for me and leaned close to my neck. As his warm breath fell, I saw Clara clinging to his shoulder. I raised my hand and pressed it against his chest. "Not tonight." He stopped. "Leg pain?" "I'm so tired." Rowan looked at me for a while and then kissed me on the forehead. "Then go to sleep." He lay down beside me, his arm still draped over my waist as usual. I closed my eyes and listened to the wood crackling softly in the fireplace. After a long time, the mattress beside me moved slightly. He slowly withdrew his arm, tucked the blanket around me, and left quietly. I opened my eyes only after the door closed. He did indeed remember his promise to Clara. I sat in the dark for a while, then reached out and drew the curtains shut, and relit the candles. There was still an unfinished list of winter clothes on the table. Two outlying villages were short of thick blankets, so I checked the quantity and wrote down the names of the people responsible for delivery. These things shouldn't be left unattended just because I'm leaving. Once the manager took over, I had one less thing to deal with when I returned. *** The next morning, there were still five days left before the caravan was to depart. Rowan is back. When I woke up, he was by the window picking out a cloak for me. "The wind is light today, I'll take you for a walk by the lake on the west side." He brought a thick cloak to the bedside, a smile playing on his lips. "Didn't you used to like that place the most?" I glanced out the window. The lake is outside the castle, not far. I've mentioned it several times over the past few months, but he always says he's too busy or the weather is bad. Just as I was about to leave, he suddenly became available again. "I need to go to the stables this morning." My old saddle and travel water bladder are still there. Rowan draped the cloak over my shoulders. "You can get them when you get back. I'm with you today, so you don't need to bring those things." Just as I was about to speak, I heard the servant's voice from outside the door. "Alpha, Miss Clara has arrived." Rowan stopped adjusting my collar. A moment later, he frowned. "Tell her to wait in the reception room." "She said the delegation members had already assembled at the stables and were going to check the mountain path to the west today..." Before he could finish speaking, Clara appeared at the door. She was dressed in a skirt that was easy to ride in, and was holding a pair of leather gloves. "I'm sorry, I thought you were ready." Her gaze swept over Rowan's hand on my shoulder, and her smile paused slightly. Is Nora coming too? Rowan took a step forward. "Her injuries haven't healed yet." I sat on the edge of the bed, watching his back as he blocked the doorway. In the past, when I heard him say that, I always felt that he was worried about me. Only now do I realize that he didn't even need to turn around and ask me if I wanted to go. Clara offered a perfectly timed apology. "It was my oversight. But the people over there are waiting, and you personally found this road, so I was afraid that others wouldn't be able to explain it clearly." Rowan paused for a moment, then turned to look at me. "Nora, I'll take them there first. I'll come with you to the lake when I get back." I looked at him. It turns out he didn't suddenly have free time today. He just thought he could put me aside for another time and then come back to coax me. "No need to rush back," I said. "I have my own things to do too." He visibly relaxed and leaned down to kiss the top of my head. "I will do it as soon as possible." Clara stood outside the door and slowly put on her gloves. She didn't ask me again if I wanted to come along. *** After breakfast, I handed the roster to the steward and went to the stables alone. As soon as I stepped into the courtyard, I heard a familiar neighing of a horse. My gray horse was led to the stone steps. It was a gift from my sister when I left Baisong. It has an irregular white patch on its forehead. When it saw me, it immediately pricked up its ears and took a step toward me. Rowan, however, pulled on the reins. He was helping Clara mount her horse. I stopped in my tracks. That saddle is mine too. There's a small tear on the side, which I got from a branch when I was patrolling the forest, and I sewed it back up myself. Will it really let me ride it? Clara hesitated. “I remember Nora treasured it very much.” "It has a steady temperament and is familiar with mountain paths." Rowan adjusted the pedals for her. "Nora won't be needed for now, you can ride her for the time being." "But--" "With me here, everything will be alright." The gray horse neighed at me again. Rowan then turned around. "Nora?" I walked over and touched the horse's forehead. It lowered its head, its nose touching my palm. Since it was injured six months ago, I've rarely come to the stables. Rowan always says he'll take good care of it for me, so I leave it here without worry. But it still remembers me. “This is my horse.” I looked up at Clara. “Please get down.” The courtyard was quiet for a moment. Clara gripped the saddle, her smile fading. "I'm just borrowing it for a moment. If you mind, I can—" "She didn't know you needed it today." Luo Wen took over the conversation for her and reached out to shake my wrist. "I'll ride with you when we get back." I pulled my hand out. "I need it today." He looked at my legs. "You can't ride for long periods of time yet." "The therapist allows me to ride horses for short distances. I will start from an outer village and stop when I get tired." "Nora..." There are other horses in the stable. I looked at him without raising my voice. "This one is mine." Rowan's brows furrowed slowly. In the past, I would back down whenever he mentioned my injury. Even if I was unwilling, I would think that he was just too worried about me. But I no longer need to provide him with these reasons. Finally, he turned to give instructions to the groom. "Get Clara a new horse." As Clara dismounted, the hem of her skirt brushed against the back of my hand. She managed a weak smile. "It seems I shouldn't have touched it." I didn't reply, but simply took the reins back from Rowan's hand. The gray horse obediently followed me to my side. Rowan looked at me, his tone softening again. "Don't go too far. Wait for me to come back, and we'll go to the lake together." "I'm not going today." I led the horse inside. "I already have plans." *** After the delegation left, I asked the groom to check the horse's hooves again and to change out of the ornate saddle. "Replace it with the ones we used for patrolling the forest before," I said, "the ones with bags hanging on both sides." The coachman was somewhat surprised, but he did as instructed. I stepped into the stirrups and slowly settled myself in. I felt a slight pull on my left leg, but I didn't push myself. I just let the gray horse walk around the yard a couple of times. The pain in the wound has stopped. Once I reach the outer village, I can try the route leading to the caravan camp. I bent down and stroked its mane. When my sister handed me the reins, she patted its neck and told me that it knew the way back. I smiled and said, "Don't worry, Rowan will come back with me." Now, I gripped the reins tightly and rode out of the stable alone. Five days left. This time, I'll bring it home with me.

The next morning, there were only four days left before the caravan was to depart. Yesterday's short ride didn't aggravate my old injury. I changed my clothes, hung the water bladder on the saddle, and went to the neighboring village again. Bren was waiting for me at the camp. Upon seeing me, he took a letter from his inner leather pouch. "It was sent back last night." I took it and immediately recognized my sister's handwriting. Before the seal was even broken, Rowan's voice could be heard from outside the tent. "Put more thick blankets in the carriage. Her mother has bad knees, so she should walk slowly on the mountain path." My hand stopped. Through the half-open tent flap, I saw Clara standing beside him. She looked up at him, her smile impossible to hide. "Actually, it would have been better to just have her come with the caravan; there was no need for all this trouble." "Didn't you say you hadn't seen her in a long time?" Rowan tightened the ties of her cloak for her. "Since you want to see me, let me bring you here to stay for a while. I'll have a guest room prepared." He said it so naturally. It's as if missing loved ones is a small thing that can be satisfied at any time. Clara's mother hadn't arrived yet, but he was already thinking about the bumpy road, the thick blanket on his lap, and even whether it would be convenient after settling in. The last time I mentioned wanting to see my sister, he just hugged me and said that Bai Song hadn't replied yet. "Maybe she's been busy lately. Don't overthink it, you still have me." At that time, I leaned against him and was sad for a long time. Outside the tent, Clara reached out and brushed a fallen leaf off his shoulder. "You always think things through more thoroughly than I do." Rowan lowered his head and smiled. I lowered my eyes and opened my sister's letter. The very first line of text made my breath catch in my throat. "Nora, you've finally written to me." I stared at that sentence and read it again. How could it be "finally"? I clearly wrote it. When the wound stopped bleeding, when I stood up again for the first time, and when I was finally able to transform back into my wolf form in the yard last month. I want to tell her everything. But what my sister wrote next was: “I’ve always been worried that my advice to go back to Baisong to recuperate last time made you feel like I was interfering in your life.” "Later, Rowan sent someone to tell you that you were unwilling to listen to my advice or see me, so I stopped asking the caravan to send you anything, for fear of embarrassing you." The paper made a soft rustling sound between my fingers. I pressed it onto the desktop. My sister's handwriting is still the same as I'm familiar with; when she writes quickly, she always adds a long, thin stroke at the end. "Your old room has been kept. The stove has been repaired, and the window cracks have been resealed, so it won't let in drafts in winter." "Come back. Don't worry about where you'll stay." I only realized at the end that tears had fallen onto the back of my hand. So she hadn't forgotten me after all. She didn't refuse to have this younger sister just because I chose to stay. She always kept the room for me. But someone refused on my behalf. *** When Brun came back in, I had already folded the letter. What did she say? "She will wait for me at the border." My voice is still a little unsteady. Bren nodded, unfolded the caravan's route map, and pointed out the place where we would rest for the night. I carefully noted down every single detail. Where can I get water? Where are the empty sheds? Which section of the mountain path must be traversed before dark? Finally, he glanced at my legs. "It's okay if you go slowly. The truck won't leave you behind." I nodded gently. "My horse walked with us. It knew the White Pine Road well." Bren put the drawing away and asked, "Is there anything else I need to do?" "From now on, I'll leave any letters I send with you." I put my sister's letter into my small pocket. "Do not entrust this to anyone other than me." The sound of horses' hooves could be heard outside. Rowan took Clara and left the camp. I didn't go out, nor did I call out to him. I have more important things to figure out now. *** Back at the castle, I went straight to the steward. "Who has received all the letters Bai Song sent over the past six months?" The manager was taken aback. "Give it to Alpha." "What about the ones I sent out?" "Yes... send it to him first." As he spoke, his voice lowered. "After you were injured, Alpha instructed that he should handle all letters and visitors first, so as not to disturb your recovery." I looked at him. Six months ago, I did have a period where I was unable to get out of bed and had no energy to handle things. I personally asked Rowan to help me look at those supply requests from other villages. I didn't let him decide for me whether I would still receive letters from my sister. "Take me to get it." The manager hesitated and did not move. "Alpha hasn't returned yet, should we wait—" Those are my letters. I've made myself very clear. "Take me there now." *** In the cabinet against the wall in the study, letters from different wolf packs are collected according to their origin. The steward took out the stack that belonged to Bai Song and handed it to me. The top part shows this year's grain exchange arrangements. Further down, you'll see my sister's handwriting. One letter, two letters, three letters. I slowly sat down. The earliest letter was sent shortly after I was injured. "If it's inconvenient for you to travel, I'll come and pick you up. Just focus on healing your injury; don't worry about anything else." The next letter contained a small strip of dark blue cloth. My sister said she made me a new winter coat, looser than before, so it wouldn't hurt my legs when I put it on or take it off. She was worried I wouldn't like the color, so she cut a piece off and brought it to me first. I touched the cloth with my fingertips. Soft and thick. Last winter, I sat next to Rowan and asked him if his sister wasn't planning to reply to my letters anymore. He reached his hands under the blanket and took my cold feet in his. “She has her own life, Nora. Don’t always be sad about these things.” I remember the expression on his face when he spoke. There was no impatience. He even had the kitchen send over hot soup, personally brought it to me, and watched me finish it. That letter, tucked inside a piece of cloth, was perhaps placed in this study at the time. He watched me wait, watching me repeatedly wonder if I had said something wrong. I clenched the strip of cloth in my palm, and my chest tightened. "lady……" The manager called out to me cautiously. I looked up. "From now on, any private letters sent to me should be handed directly to me. If anyone comes looking for me, they should ask for my opinion first." "But what about Alpha..." “I will talk to him.” The manager finally lowered his head and responded. I continued looking through the pages after he left. At the very bottom of that stack of letters, there were two familiar envelopes. The wax seal was intact. One letter was written by my own hand, telling my sister that I was now able to walk through the castle courtyard on my own. The other letter was sent after waiting for a long time without receiving a reply. I remember asking myself inside: Are you still angry with me? It turns out they never left the castle at all. My hand remained on the two envelopes for a long time without moving. Compared to the kiss in the hunting lodge, at this moment, I don't even know where to put my pain. He could hold my hand and watch over my wounds night after night. It can also quietly block my outstretched hand from reaching out to my loved ones. *** As the afternoon sun streamed into the bedroom, I took out my luggage. My sister's letter, that dark blue cloth, and two letters that were never sent home were all placed in a close-fitting compartment. Afterwards, I went to pack up my belongings that I had left in the castle. not much. A change of clothes, a few old items suitable for traveling, a small comb left by his mother, and a short knife he used when patrolling the forest. Rowan gave me many things. Soft dresses, exquisitely decorated jewelry, and gifts filling the entire cabinet. In the past, whenever I received something, I would carefully keep it and remember what he said that day. Now, I looked at each item one by one, and finally just closed the cabinet door. The bouquet of dried flowers brought back from near the snow line is still in the small box by the window. When I picked it up, one of the already brittle petals had fallen off. I still remember Rowan's hands, which were red from the cold. I also remember that when he handed me the flowers, his eyes were only on me. Tears welled up again. I didn't wipe it; I just bent down, retied the loosened ribbon, and put the box back in its place. It can stay here. I've already packed what I need to take with me. *** In the evening, the steward came again. He stood at the doorway, holding a folded piece of paper in his hand, looking troubled. “You mentioned this morning that you wanted to rearrange your visitors and mail. There’s something I think I should let you know.” I took it. That wasn't a family letter. It was an order Rowan had written to the guard captain a month ago. The text mentions my old injuries, the potential dangers at the border, and the last line reads: "Without my permission, Luna shall not be allowed to leave the territory with any caravan." Below is his signature. Looking at those words, I finally understood why he could promise to take me back again and again, but never worried about leaving on his own. He had already closed the door for me. The steward looked at me and asked in a low voice, "Should we ask Alpha to come back for you?" I folded the paper. "Need not." After he left, I resumed following the route Bren had drawn for me. Previously, we had agreed to travel with the convoy through the southern checkpoint. Now, that road can no longer be followed the same way. I picked up a pen and marked the forks in the road before the checkpoint on the map. Then I took out a piece of paper to leave a message for Bren. Four days left. I need to find another way out.

I didn't tear up that no-entry order. I folded it neatly and put it into my bag. Every word on the paper was clear. There was no vague wording, and nothing that required my explanation. He could coax me by saying he'd come home with me sometime. The guards, however, received a different set of instructions. When dinner was served, the maid asked me if I wanted to wait for Rowan to return. "Need not." I put the map in the drawer and sat down at the table. The soup was still hot. I slowly finished it and then ate some bread and stew. The road ahead won't be easy; I need to conserve my energy. *** The next day, there were three days left before departure. Rowan arrived very early. I was putting on my shoes by the window when he came over, squatted down as usual, and tried to tie my shoelaces for me. I tied the knot first. His hand stopped, then he grasped my ankle and gently placed it back on the ground. "The steward said you took those letters." "Um." "Nora, I know you'll be angry." He looked up at me, his eyes filled with weariness. “Your sister kept urging you to go back to Baisong. At that time, your injuries hadn’t healed yet, and I didn’t want you to go through all that trouble.” I looked at him for a moment. "So you're telling her I don't want to see her?" Rowan did not answer immediately. "What about the letter I wrote?" I continued. "I just wanted to tell her that I can walk now. Why can't she even know that?" His fingers slowly tightened. "She will come to pick you up once she finds out." That sentence was spoken very softly. But I heard it clearly. It turns out he didn't forget to send it, nor did he fail to handle it in time. He knew what I was waiting for, and he also knew what my sister was waiting for. He refused, so none of us got to see him. Rowan stood up and reached out to hug me. “I almost lost you back then. You have no idea how scared I was to see you being carried back covered in blood.” I remember. But I also remember sitting by the window, looking again and again at the gate through which the messenger passed. “I’m all better now, Rowan.” "I know." "Then withdraw the order that forbids me from leaving the country." His body stiffened for a moment. A moment later, he released me and stroked my face. "Wait a little longer. There are a lot of people coming and going lately, and I can't guarantee that every caravan is reliable." I looked at him and slowly took his hand away. So, it still doesn't work. “I can bring your sister over.” He spoke quickly, as if he had finally found a way to make amends to me. "She can stay here. You can keep her here as long as you want." I didn't ask any more questions. He can arrange for someone to come, and he can decide who to leave. He's even willing to put a lot of effort into it. My choice, however, was never taken into consideration by him. Seeing that I was silent, Luo Wen lowered his voice even further. "Don't look at me like that. It's my fault. From now on, I'll give you all my letters, okay?" I nodded. "I will receive my own letters." He visibly breathed a sigh of relief. After planting a kiss on my forehead, he said, "Let's go to the lake after we're done with these few days." I looked out the window and didn't answer. *** In the morning, I went to a neighboring village. Bren's face darkened after he saw the travel ban. "If you go through the South Gate, you'll definitely be stopped." "I know." I pointed to a narrow, old road on the map. “Charcoal used to be transported here; horses could walk on it. After crossing the ridge, you can connect to the road outside the checkpoint.” "A section of that road collapsed." "I'll go take a look." Bren frowned, his gaze falling on my left leg. “I won’t force my way through with this injury,” I said. “If one road is blocked, we’ll find another. But I need to see it with my own eyes.” That afternoon, I led the gray horse to the entrance of the old road. I remember every fork in the road. Before becoming Luna, I had returned lost wolf cubs from here, and I had also led a team to check the empty sheds along the way before it snowed. Now the grass has grown tall, and some branches have drooped down, blocking the original path. I tied the horse to a sheltered spot and lurched forward a short distance in wolf-like form. There were fresh deer hoof prints in the damp soil, and the scent of foxes lingered beside the fallen tree trunk. The landslide didn't completely break off; only the outer side was washed away by the rain. Horses could still slowly make their way along the mountainside. I did not go any deeper. When my old wound started to ache, I turned back and noted the situation along the way on a map. This journey will be a bit slower than going through checkpoints. Let's set off earlier then. *** When I returned to the castle, Clara was already waiting outside the bedroom. She was holding a pair of men's gloves. I recognize it; it's the one Roman Tam always wears. He left with me. She handed me the gloves, her gaze fixed on my face. “I originally wanted to return it to him directly, but I felt that there were some things you should know.” I didn't answer. "Give it to the servant." Clara's laughter paused for a moment. "Aren't you going to ask him why he left those things at my place?" "I have been to Donglin." Her hand slowly fell to her sides. I looked at her. “The windows of the hunting lodge weren’t closed properly. I also heard some of what you were saying.” The corridor was quiet for a moment. Clara quickly raised her chin again. "Since you know that, you should also understand that this won't end just because you're unhappy." I took off my cloak and draped it over my arm. "You came here to talk about this?" "I just hope you won't make things difficult for him anymore." She glanced at the bedroom behind me. “You have the status of a partner, this castle, and everyone’s respect for you. But he also needs someone to accompany him out, not someone to stay by your side every day to watch over your wounds.” My fingers tightened on the cloak. Clara saw it, and her voice grew even softer. "Do you know what he's like when he's with me? He laughs, argues with me about which mountain path is faster, and forgets about the time to come back." She paused. "He can't take care of you forever." I looked at the gloves in her hands, and my chest still ached. Rowan used to run with me through the mountains and forests. He turned down the forest patrol team for me, postponed my return home, and then, in another relationship, enjoyed the life I was asked to give up. "You can go directly to him wherever you want to go." I reached out and opened the bedroom door, standing in the doorway without letting her in. "Don't use my injury as an excuse for your actions." Clara's smile faded. "Nora, is it really necessary for you to keep going like this?" "I'm waiting for you to leave." She stared at me for a long time, then suddenly lowered her voice. "Even returning to Baisong requires his approval. What do you think you can change?" I did not answer. She probably thought that was the silence that was being spoken of. Finally, she placed the gloves on the low cabinet by the door, turned around, and left. I closed the door and stood leaning against it for a while. Then, I took out the map and rewrote my own time next to the caravan's original departure time. Two hours in advance. *** For the next two days, I did not try to get Rowan to accompany me. I completed the handover of the supplies one by one, and personally watched as the thick blankets were delivered to the two villages that lacked winter clothes. The gray horse was fitted with horseshoes suitable for mountain roads, and dry food and water were packed in the saddlebags. Bren went to confirm the other end of the old road. We agreed that he would lead the caravan through the checkpoint as usual and wait for me by the old sheepfold outside the border. My sister would also receive a new meeting point. I did not ask him to deceive the guard for me. I want to walk that path myself.

The night before he left, Rowan went north. The convoy carrying Clara's mother was moving slowly, so he decided to meet them ahead of time and spend the night in a village along the way. Before he left, he came to find me, holding a new shawl in his hand. "It's cold at night, don't sit by the window to read." He unfolded his shawl and draped it over my shoulders. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. Wait for me to have lunch together." I touched the soft edge of the shawl. "I will eat on time." Rowan smiled, as if those words were merely a docile promise. He bent down and hugged me. "I'm relieved that you've been able to get some rest these past few days." I let my hands hang by my sides, waiting for him to let go. I didn't take off my shawl until the footsteps disappeared down the corridor. I folded it and put it back on the bed. Then, I sat down at the table and finished writing the last letter. It was still dark when we set off. Six days have passed. I changed into my old forest ranger's cloak, put my mother's small comb into my pocket, and picked up my luggage. The dried flowers, the jewelry, and the dress that Rowan chose for me are all left where they were. I did not open any more boxes. In the stable, the gray horse heard my footsteps and gave a soft neigh. I touched its forehead and fastened its saddlebag. The guards at the castle gate recognized me. These past few days, I've gone horseback riding to the outer villages several times in the early morning. As usual, he asked if I needed anyone to accompany me. "No need. I know the way." The door opened behind me. It also closed slowly behind me. …… When I reached the fork in the road leading to the South Gate, I did not continue along the main road. The gray horse followed my lead and turned into the woods. The sky gradually brightened. The old road was covered with wet leaves, and the horse's hooves made a soft sound as they trod over it. I dismounted before the steep slope, led the horse slowly, and stopped to drink water when it got tired. As I passed the landslide area, the pain in my injured leg caused cold sweat to break out on my forehead. I braced my hands against the rock face and rested for a while. They didn't go back. After crossing the ridge, the low stone walls of the old sheepfold finally came into view in the distance. The sound of wheels came from another road. Bren was already there. His sister was standing right next to him. When I saw her, I suddenly lost my grip on the reins. She walked over quickly and hugged me tightly. "Nora." Just by calling my name, my tears began to fall. My sister hugged me tightly, but she didn't ask me why I was only coming back now, nor did she ask about the letters that were never delivered to her. She just touched my hair. "Let's go home." I nodded and pulled away from her embrace a little. There's one more thing. The pull that belonged to Rowan in my chest is still clearly there. It once made me believe that no matter where we went, we would find each other. Now, I finally stand where he could not decide for me whether to stay or leave. I took my sister's hand and slowly steadied myself. “I, Nora Weir, no longer accept Rowan Hale as my partner.” As soon as he finished speaking, a sharp pain shot through his chest. I bent over and almost couldn't stand up, but my sister immediately helped me up. That familiar pull tightened, then slowly snapped. Pain crept up my chest, making even breathing difficult. I held her hand tightly, waiting for the most intense moment to pass. He did not retract his words. After a long time, I was finally able to lift my head. My sister wiped away my tears and helped me into the caravan's wagon. Brun tied the reins of the grey horse to the side of the carriage. As the wheels started turning again, I leaned on my sister's shoulder and closed my eyes. ***