The Woman Who Finally Chose Herself

I loved Ethan Sterling for seven years, from seventeen to twenty-four, and became his most obedient mistress. Until Olivia Hayes, the woman he had never gotten over, came home. “Claire, you’re just my personal assistant. I’ve always thought of you as a friend.” Seven years of devotion turned out to be nothing but a joke. I burned every photo of us, threw out the luxury gifts he had given me, and decided to move to New Zealand—to disappear from his life for good. Before I left, I told him in front of his entire family: “Ethan Sterling, I could end up with anyone. But never you.” He thought I was just throwing a tantrum. He had no idea that this time, I truly didn’t want him anymore. Claire’s POV When I woke up, a strong arm was still draped across my waist. His steady breath brushed the hollow of my neck, carrying the faint scent of tobacco and mint. I looked at the handsome man beside me. Seven years. From seventeen to twenty-four, I had given the best years of my youth to Ethan Sterling. Everyone in New York knew the Sterling heir was a playboy. No one knew that for the past seven years, there had only been one constant woman in his life: Claire Bennett. I was the mistress who came whenever he called, the nurse who stayed up all night when he was sick, the shield who drank for him at business dinners, and the only sign of warmth in this cold apartment. I had always thought he kept us secret because his family was too strict, because he needed more time to take over the family business. I could wait. And today, I thought my wait was finally over. “Awake?” Ethan’s voice was rough with sleep. He withdrew his arm, sat straight up, and grabbed a shirt. There was no tender good-morning kiss. I fought back a smile and asked softly, “Should I get a gift for dinner tonight?” His fingers paused on a button. Through the full-length mirror, he glanced casually at me on the bed. “No need. My mother arranged it as a date. Olivia’s back in the country.” Something exploded inside my head, shattering the little happiness I had felt. Olivia Hayes. The girl Ethan had loved in high school. The one he had never been able to have, or let go. When Olivia moved abroad three years ago, Ethan drank himself into a stomach hemorrhage. I had stayed at his hospital bedside for three days and nights without rest. “A date?” My voice trembled. “You’re going on a date with Olivia? Then why… do you want me there?” Ethan turned around, frowning slightly. “She just got back. She’s out of touch with everyone in our circle. You can keep the conversation going. And if any of the older relatives try to get her to drink, take the drinks for her.” He studied my face. Perhaps deciding he had sounded too harsh, he added casually, “Having you there will show my mother I’m taking the whole setup seriously, too. Use your head. Don’t make Olivia uncomfortable.” Every word was about Olivia. I tasted blood in my throat and forced it down. My eyes burned as I stared at the man who had been sweating over me just last night. “Ethan, you want me to go on your date and drink for her? Then what am I to you?” His hand stopped halfway into his suit jacket. A flicker of surprise crossed his eyes before they turned cold again. “What’s gotten into you today, Claire? Why the attitude?” He came over and patted my cheek, as if soothing a pet. “Haven’t we had a good arrangement these past seven years? You’re my personal assistant. Haven’t I paid you enough? The bags, the jewelry?” Personal assistant. A woman in his bed to satisfy his needs. Seven years of love. Seven years of swallowing my feelings and waiting. In his mouth, it all came down to that one simple label. I didn’t move away from his hand. I just felt cold. I looked at his flawless, handsome face, and for the first time, he seemed like a complete stranger. “I understand.” My voice was strangely calm. Not a ripple in it. I threw back the covers, walked barefoot into the bathroom, and slammed the door. The moment the lock clicked, my legs gave out, and I sank onto the cold tile. I bit the back of my hand to keep from making a sound, but the tears had already broken free. Outside, in the bedroom, Ethan made a phone call. “Yes, the restaurant at the Grand Hyatt… The flowers are ordered. Right, confirm with the florist again. Olivia only likes white Ecuadorian roses. No other colors, and make sure every thorn is removed. She’s sensitive to pain…” I leaned against the freezing wall and looked at myself in the mirror—red, swollen eyes, a complete wreck. Then I laughed. After seven years inside a dream, it was finally time to wake up.Claire’s POV I was sitting on the couch in a daze when Ethan left the apartment. He put on his shoes, picked up his car keys, and glanced back at me. My face was still pale, my empty gaze fixed on the glass of water on the table. “Seven tonight. Private dining room on the top floor of the Grand Hyatt. Don’t be late. And don’t dress up too much. Don’t outshine Olivia.” He started to leave, then paused with his hand on the doorknob. Turning back, he looked at my thin shoulders and softened his tone a little. “Claire, you’re a smart woman. I’ve always considered you a good friend. Olivia is different. She’s the one who got away when I was young.” “So stop sulking. Understand?” The door slammed shut, cutting off the outside world—and the last illusion I had about him. A good friend… Slowly, I covered my face with both hands. There were no more tears, only a numb feeling of suffocation. Ethan was everywhere in this place. It was also the “home” I had poured so much of myself into. The plants on the balcony were ones I had carried home, pot by pot, after he casually said they looked nice. I had called in favors to track down his favorite vintage wines. In the walk-in closet, his shirts were arranged by shade, each one ironed without a single crease. I had thought it was love. To him, it was just a personal assistant doing her job. Night fell, and the rain grew heavier. I didn’t go to the Grand Hyatt. I turned off my phone, pulled a huge black suitcase from beneath the bed, and found a trash can. Then I opened a drawer and took out a thick stack of photo albums. They held the pictures I had quietly taken of Ethan over the past seven years. His profile while he slept. The crease in his brow while he worked. The backs of us walking side by side on the occasional outing. Seven years. More than a thousand pictures. Not one photo of us together where Ethan had willingly looked into the camera. I flicked a lighter. Flames licked the photo paper with a faint hiss. Blackened edges curled inward before falling into the metal bin as ash. Firelight washed over my expressionless face. The flames danced in eyes that felt utterly dead. “I don’t want any of it.” My whisper vanished beneath the rain outside. If the man in these pictures had never truly cared about me, what was the point of keeping them? By the time the last ember died, the room smelled sharply of burned paper. I stood and packed my few simple clothes, leaving behind every luxury item Ethan had bought me. At two in the morning, I wheeled my suitcase out of the upscale apartment that had held me captive for three years, leaving the key quietly on the shoe cabinet by the door. The Bennett estate. When I appeared on my parents’ doorstep, soaked to the skin, Richard and Margaret Bennett were stunned. At the sight of my paper-white face and empty eyes, Mom burst into tears. She hurried to get a towel and began drying my hair. “Claire, honey, what happened? Did Ethan hurt you again?” Dad slapped the table in fury. The Bennetts weren’t in the same league as the Sterlings, but we were still a prominent family. As their only heir, I had grown up cherished and protected. Yet somehow, I had fallen for Ethan. I took the hot soup Mom brought me. The heat seeped through the bowl into my palms, making me feel a little more alive. I looked up at my worried parents. My eyes reddened, but my gaze was steadier than it had ever been. “Mom. Dad.” I drew a deep breath. My voice was hoarse but clear. “I’ve made up my mind. I want to work at our New Zealand branch.” Dad froze. “New Zealand? The operation there is barely getting started. It’ll be exhausting. Why would you want to go?” “To be myself.” I closed my eyes, hiding the hurt and determination in them. “I want to leave. The sooner, the better. Please help me with the immigration paperwork. I need a completely fresh start.” Dad watched me for a long time. Then he sighed. He didn’t ask why, only nodded firmly. “All right. I’ll have someone start on it tomorrow. As long as you’re happy, you can go anywhere you want.”Claire’s POV For the next few days, I stayed at my parents’ house and refused to go out. Dad had already requested expedited processing for my New Zealand paperwork. Since our family owned businesses there, everything was moving smoothly. It could all be ready in as little as a week. Ethan never contacted me. He was probably too busy with the love he had finally gotten back to remember that a “personal assistant” named Claire had missed his matchmaking dinner. Not until the evening of the third day did Dad hang up a call, his face dark with anger. He looked at me on the couch, reading materials about art curation, and hesitated. “What is it, Dad?” I looked up. He snorted. “Ethan. His family is having dinner tonight, and he specifically demanded you come. I refused for you. That bastard threatened me with our joint project! He says he’ll shut it down if you don’t show up.” My fingers stopped on the page. The edge of the paper sliced my fingertip, leaving a thin red line. That was Ethan. He was used to controlling everything about me. He didn’t care why I had disappeared for three days. He just didn’t like that the dog who had always come when called was suddenly disobeying him. He knew my family mattered most to me, so he had found exactly where to press. “I’ll go.” I closed the book and stood, my expression perfectly still. “Don’t worry about the project, Dad. I’ll be back soon.” Dad looked at me with aching helplessness. An hour later, I stood outside the Sterling estate. I had walked through this door countless times. It was as familiar as my own home. But when I stepped inside and went to change my shoes, I froze. The pink bunny slippers I had worn for three years were gone. Instinctively, I looked around. My eyes landed on the translucent trash can beside the entrance. My bunny slippers. My coffee mug. The spare towel I sometimes kept here. They had all been tossed in with scraps of paper and fruit peels, discarded like garbage. It felt as though an invisible hand had closed around my heart, squeezing so hard I could barely breathe. Three years of traces I had left in this house had been ruthlessly erased the moment Olivia came back. “Why are you standing there? Come in.” Ethan’s voice came from the living room. I took a deep breath, swallowed the tightness in my throat, and walked barefoot across the cold marble floor. Ethan sat on the couch in a perfectly tailored designer suit, his hair impeccably styled. His head was lowered as he carefully held a bowl of soup, blowing on it before handing it to the woman beside him. She wore a white silk dress, her long hair loose over her shoulders. Soft and delicate. Olivia Hayes. “Careful, Ethan. It’s hot.” She smiled gently. As she took the bowl, her fingers brushed the back of his hand as if by accident. He didn’t pull away. Instead, he caught her hand, his eyes holding a tenderness I had never seen. Hearing my footsteps, Ethan looked up. His brow immediately furrowed. “Why aren’t you wearing shoes? Have you forgotten your manners?” “I couldn’t find my slippers,” I said evenly. “Oh!” Olivia covered her mouth as though startled and stood, her face full of apology. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Bennett. I didn’t know those things were yours. It’s my first time here, and Ethan said they were old things nobody used. He told me to throw them all away… I’m terribly sorry. I’ll replace them when I get a chance.” Old things nobody used. I looked at her innocent face, then at Ethan. He didn’t deny it. He just tugged impatiently at his tie. “It was a few pieces of junk. What’s the big deal? Have someone bring you disposable slippers.” I stood there as the chill beneath my feet spread straight to my heart. I didn’t take the slippers a housekeeper offered. I walked to the armchair farthest from them and sat down. Just then, Victoria Sterling came downstairs. She had always liked me, thought I was sweet and considerate. Seeing me, she immediately approached with a smile. “Claire, you’re here! It’s been days. Have you lost weight?” She glanced at Olivia on the couch, then at Ethan, and ventured, “Ethan, you and Claire aren’t children anymore. She’s a wonderful girl. When are you two going to…” “Mom.” His face hardened as he cut her off without hesitation. There was a warning in his voice. “Don’t start. Claire and I are strictly friends. We grew up together, that’s all. Don’t give Olivia the wrong idea.” Strictly friends. Good friends. Watching him scramble to distance himself from me in a room overflowing with affection for his first love made me sick. Olivia covered her lips with a soft laugh, triumph flashing in her eyes. “Mrs. Sterling.” My voice was quiet but clear, and the room fell silent. I met Victoria’s startled eyes. A mocking smile touched my lips as I spoke each word distinctly. “Don’t worry. Your son and I really are just friends. I could end up with anyone. But never Ethan Sterling.” Ethan’s hand froze around his teacup. He snapped his head up and stared at me, something dark and furious churning in his eyes. I met his gaze without flinching. Then I pulled my hand out of Victoria’s grasp and moved farther away.Claire’s POV My words left the family dinner ice-cold. Ethan didn’t look at me once throughout the meal. Every scrap of his attention went to Olivia. Peeling shrimp. Removing fish bones. Serving soup. All the little things he had never done for me in seven years, performed so smoothly it seemed he had rehearsed them in his mind a million times. I ate the plain rice in my bowl as my stomach cramped. I forced myself not to look or listen, silently counting down the time until I could leave this city. After dinner, Olivia said she wanted to meet some friends who had also just returned from abroad at a downtown restaurant. “It’s pouring. I’ll drive you.” Ethan picked up his keys, then turned to me by the entrance. His voice was cold, the order absolute. “You’re coming, too.” I was about to refuse when he added, quietly enough that only I could hear, “Do you want your family’s project shut down right now?” I clenched my teeth and followed without a word. We got into his black Maybach. Ethan naturally opened the front passenger door for Olivia and shielded her head with his hand, unwilling to let even a drop of rain touch her. I opened the rear door myself and settled into the dark corner. The heater was turned up, but it couldn’t chase away my chill. Olivia chattered about amusing things that had happened overseas. Ethan answered in a voice so tender it almost hurt to hear. “Ethan, remember how you used to drive me home in the rain back in high school?” Olivia turned toward him with a smile. “Of course. You always insisted on getting tiramisu from that place on the south side.” He chuckled, his gaze soft. I leaned against the window, watching the rain blur everything outside. So he could remember someone’s preferences perfectly. He wasn’t cold by nature. His warmth had simply never been meant for me. The rain grew heavier, reducing visibility to almost nothing. We were on a winding hillside road, the wet pavement shining beneath the headlights. As we rounded a sharp bend, an out-of-control truck suddenly barreled out of the opposite lane. Its blinding headlights cut through the downpour, bearing straight down on us! “Watch out!” Olivia screamed. Brakes shrieked through the night. Everything happened in an instant. Just before the collision, driven by raw instinct, Ethan wrenched the steering wheel hard to the right, swinging the driver’s side and the rear seat directly into the impact. At the same time, he threw his body over Olivia in the passenger seat, shielding her beneath him without a moment’s hesitation. Bang! The deafening crash filled the car. Airbags exploded. The windows shattered under the impact, spraying the cabin with countless razor-sharp shards. The force hurled me against the door. A piercing pain tore through my left arm and forehead. Glass drove into my skin like rain. Blood instantly blurred my vision. The cabin filled with the stench of gasoline and blood. “Olivia! Olivia, are you hurt?” Ethan’s panicked voice reached me, carrying a fear I had never heard from him before. I was trapped in the crushed seat, in too much pain to breathe. I struggled to open my blood-covered eyes. Through a gap in the wrecked seats, I saw Ethan holding Olivia’s face, frantically checking her for injuries. “I… I’m okay, Ethan. I’m so scared…” She trembled in his arms. She wasn’t hurt at all, only frightened. He let out a breath, kicked open the damaged door, and carried her into the pouring rain. Not once did he turn to look at me in the back seat. “E… Ethan…” I barely managed his name. My throat tasted of blood. My voice was too weak, swallowed instantly by the rain. Ten minutes later, an ambulance siren drew closer. The medical team rushed out and assessed the scene. A nurse ran to Ethan. “Sir, who’s injured?” Still holding the sobbing Olivia tightly, he shouted, “She is! She’s in shock. There could be internal injuries. Get her into the ambulance and check her!” The nurse glanced at Olivia, then swept her flashlight over the wreck. She gasped. “Oh my God, there’s someone in the back! She’s trapped and bleeding heavily. She could go into shock! Doctor, over here!” Several responders rushed toward the back seat with hydraulic rescue tools. Ethan froze, as if he had only just remembered I was there. He turned and saw me through the curtain of rain, half my body soaked in blood. For a moment, I saw his pupils contract. “Hurry! The rear passenger is critical. We only have one stretcher in this ambulance. She goes first!” the doctor shouted. “No!” Olivia clutched Ethan’s sleeve, crying pitifully. “Ethan, my chest hurts. I can’t breathe. Am I going to die…? I’m so scared. Please don’t leave me…” He looked at me, covered in blood, then back at the fragile woman in his arms. “Take her first!” He pointed at Olivia and roared at the doctor, his eyes red. “She has a history of heart problems. She can’t handle stress! The woman in the back is healthy. She can wait for the next ambulance!” The doctor stared at him in disbelief. “Sir, if we don’t stop that woman’s bleeding immediately, she could die!” “I said take Olivia first! I’ll take responsibility!” Ethan snarled like an enraged lion. My consciousness was slipping. Blood loss left me trembling with cold. I fought to keep my eyes open as Ethan ignored the doctor’s protests and carried Olivia into the only ambulance equipped for emergency care. When its doors shut, the flashing red and blue lights stabbed at my eyes. I watched it speed away into the rainy night without a moment’s hesitation. Tears slid down my face, mixing with blood. It hurt so much. “So that’s your choice…” I whispered, my voice breaking apart in the storm.