Chaos, Courtesy of My Crossdressing Buddy

My coworker found out my girlfriend was a wealthy heiress, and he saw his chance to worm his way into her bed. Two months later, he strutted up to me with his nose in the air. "Your girlfriend's pregnant with my child. Do yourself a favor and back off before this gets ugly." Whose child? I froze. The problem was, the wealthy heiress "girlfriend" he kept talking about was actually a man. So whose baby was it? Chapter 1 I'd just walked into the office when my coworker Vincent Edens sidled up to me, all smiles. "Mickey, who dropped you off downstairs?" I said it as a joke. "My girlfriend." His tone turned sour and mocking. "So you've been dating in secret and didn't say a word? I saw the car. That's a nice ride. When are you going to bring her around so we can all meet her?" My friend, Bryan Kensington, was slim, delicate-featured, and lately, for reasons no one could explain, had developed a taste for wearing women's clothes. I liked to joke that Bryan was my girlfriend. I'd crashed at his place the night before, and he'd driven me to work that morning. I hadn't expected a coworker to actually see it. Vincent, though, had taken the joke seriously and wanted to come along to meet her. I couldn't help laughing. "Next time," I said. His face went cold, and he rolled his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean? Because she's rich, you're hiding her from us? Aren't we friends?" The sarcasm in his voice was hard to stomach. He kept needling me. "Or maybe you know you're not good enough for her, and you're scared one of us might steal her away? "Wouldn't surprise me if she dumped you soon anyway. Rich people like to stick to their own kind." I'd had enough. "Since when is my relationship any of your business?" I grabbed the wireless keyboard off the desk, ready to swing it at his face. Jimmy Luft, another coworker in our office, saw where this was headed and rushed to grab my arm. "Come on, don't be mad. Vincent's just in a bad mood today." Dirk Walters, another coworker, moved to hold back Vincent, who looked just as ready to throw a punch. "That's enough, Vincent. Drop it." I set the keyboard down and gave a cold laugh. "Apologize, or I'll rip that nosy mouth of yours off your face." Vincent knew he was in the wrong, and with both of them pushing him to apologize, his eyes went red with anger. "I didn't even say anything wrong! You're both ridiculous for taking his side!" He shoved Dirk out of the way and stormed out the door. Jimmy laughed, a little awkwardly. "He's fresh out of college and doesn't think before he talks. Don't take it personally. Might be smart to keep him away from your girlfriend, though." I didn't answer. I sat back down at my desk and got to work. Bryan liked women, was a man himself, and, whatever he thought of his new taste in dresses, was straight through and through. Vincent had exactly the same equipment Bryan did. There wasn't much competing to be done there. After that, Vincent started paying close attention to me, even sneaking up behind me to look at my phone. Around then, our General Manager, Liza Minnelli, texted me again: [Hey there, Mickey! The Laurelwood Hotel just started a buffet. Want to grab a meal together?] She'd probably figured out who I really was. Ever since I'd started my internship at the bottom rung of my own family's company, she kept "running into me" and asking me out to eat. I was about to send a polite decline when I felt someone staring at the back of my neck. I turned around, and there was Vincent again, peeking at my phone. I killed the screen and glared at him. He just picked up his water cup and strolled off like nothing had happened. Once he was gone, I finally texted Liza back, turning her down and telling her to focus on her work. Then I answered Bryan's message. As luck would have it, a college classmate's birthday party was happening that same week at a party venue right next to the Laurelwood. Chapter 2 A college friend had invited me and Bryan to his birthday, and Bryan texted to arrange a time to pick me up. Before I clocked out, I spent a few minutes fixing my hair in the mirror. Dirk teased me about it. "Heading out on a date? All dressed up like that. You coming in tomorrow?" I finished off with a bit of hair spray, figuring we might end up bar-hopping until midnight, and nodded. "I might be a little late tomorrow morning. Do me a favor and sign me in if I'm not there yet." "Got it," he said. The second the workday ended, I went downstairs and got into Bryan's Aston Martin, and we drove off. Dirk, straddling his electric scooter, sighed enviously. "Must be nice, having a rich, thoughtful girlfriend." Vincent thought it over for a second, then climbed onto his own scooter and pulled up the map. We partied until almost eleven, when a few friends decided to go sing karaoke. While Bryan was pulling the car around, I caught a glimpse of Vincent in the distance, stepping out of the Laurelwood Hotel. Was he here to eat too? Bryan's car came up from the garage. I didn't think much of it, looked away, and got in. The next day, Vincent was back to his usual self. He'd stopped watching me so closely, and without him hovering, I could finally check my phone in peace. That was a relief. His clothes and styling kept getting more polished by the day, and the rest of us started whispering about whether he'd gotten himself a girlfriend. One day, he walked into the office with an LV necklace around his neck, and, not so subtly, let his sleeve slide back to reveal a Rolex on his wrist. Jimmy let out a low whistle. "Vincent, you've really been stepping up your look lately. That necklace looks expensive. Be honest, did you land yourself a sugar mama?" Dirk eyed him with the same envy. "That watch looks familiar too. Some kind of luxury brand, right? Must have cost a fortune." Vincent tipped his chin up, pleased with himself. "What do you think? It's a Rolex. Just over fourteen thousand dollars. My girlfriend knew I wanted one, so she went and bought it for me without a second thought." Dirk and Jimmy crowded around him, admiring it with open envy. I glanced over once and lost interest immediately. A knockoff wasn't worth a second look. Vincent suddenly walked up to me and reached into his pocket like he was about to pull something out. That was when Liza appeared in the doorway. She looked at me first, then turned to Vincent, her gaze sweeping over the necklace and the watch, her face going hard. "Vincent, come to my office." He answered with a low "Sure," then shot me a smug little smile on his way out. I had no idea what any of that meant, so I just put my head down and kept working. I didn't expect the first thing he'd do when he got back was slap a pregnancy test result down on my desk, chin tilted up like he owned the place. I caught the two words on it right away: CONFIRMED PREGNANT. "Your girlfriend's pregnant," he said. I froze for a second, an instinctive "Huh?" slipping out before I could stop it. "Not mine, though." The rest of the office looked up. He faltered for a beat, then arranged his face back into that same superior look. "Of course it's not yours! It's mine! Sorry to break it to you, but your girlfriend fell for me at first sight." Then he pivoted. "She's pregnant with my child. Do yourself a favor and back off before this gets ugly." Dirk and Jimmy, both in the same office, stared at him with their mouths hanging open, too stunned to react. "I told you she'd dump you eventually, didn't I? Guess the day finally came. She's carrying my baby now. Give it a little longer, and I probably won't even be working here anymore. I'll be marrying into her family and taking over the business." Chapter 3 Vincent gave his wrist a little flourish, showing off the watch, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. Taking over some rich family's business? What heiress would let herself get pregnant before the wedding and hand the in-laws a scandal like that to laugh about? And he'd called her my girlfriend. God, I was single. Where was this girlfriend supposed to have come from? I frowned and dug through every memory I had, going all the way back to childhood, and came up with nothing resembling a girlfriend. Carefully, I asked, "Which girlfriend of mine are you talking about, exactly?" Dirk couldn't hold back a snort of laughter. Vincent's brow furrowed. He'd clearly taken my question at face value, and now he was practically defending my nonexistent girlfriend's honor. "Wow, playing the field with multiple women at once. Guys like you don't even deserve to compete with me. Once she has my kid, her whole family's fortune belongs to me and my son." He kept going, bragging without pause. "Remember that trip to the Laurelwood two months ago? I guess I really was born to marry into money. Nailed it on the first try." The Laurelwood? I suddenly remembered that college friend's birthday party. But my "girlfriend" was a man. And we hadn't even gone to the Laurelwood that night. So whose baby was it? He'd been secretly watching me and peeking at my phone for a while before this. Had he walked into the wrong room and mistaken someone else for me? A pregnancy wasn't something to brush off, especially not a mix-up like this. I couldn't ruin some girl's whole life over a joke I'd made once, so I opened my mouth. "This kid definitely isn't—" He cut me off before I could finish. "Don't you dare whine at me. I'm not about to tell my girlfriend to get rid of the baby. You'd better cut things off with Liza right now, or I'll tell her all about you playing the field." I let out a short laugh, my eyes going back to his watch and necklace. If that woman had already given him gifts like that, it meant they'd been in contact for a while. And if she was willing to carry his child, it meant she didn't care who he really was. I'd been about to play the good guy and step in, which, in hindsight, was pretty foolish of me. So I played along. "Since she doesn't care, don't blame me for not caring either. I'm blocking her right now. Congratulations, hope she gives you eight sons in one go." He gave a smug little laugh. "Now you're getting it." Then he swaggered back to his desk like he'd just won something. Dirk and Jimmy traded a look and, by unspoken agreement, kept their heads down and their mouths shut. Ever since his girlfriend's pregnancy, Vincent had started acting like the most precious young master in the whole company. He was constantly ordering the rest of us around, even dumping parts of his own workload onto other people. "Dirk, go get me some water, would you? The break room's too crowded, and I don't want to get my clothes dirty." "Jimmy, print this file out for me. It's too far to walk, and my legs are killing me." He carried his girlfriend's pregnancy test result around on purpose, strutting around the office all day putting on a show, sighing dramatically every so often. "No wonder everyone says pregnancy is hard on both sides. I'm not even a dad yet, and I'm already a nervous wreck. All this stress makes a guy hungry. "Mickey, I'm not a petty guy. I know you and my girlfriend had something once, but that's ancient history now. "I've got a craving for a burrito from that food cart on Fifth Street. Go grab me one, would you? "Get two eggs on it. Might help with the stress." Chapter 4 That was the last straw. Couldn't Vincent see I was busy? Babbling on like he thought I was his personal servant. I ignored him and kept typing, pretending not to hear. He walked right up and shoved my keyboard aside. It knocked into the cup of water next to it, and water splashed across my desk, soaking a stack of files. "I'm talking to you! Are you deaf? I want a burrito!" He really did think he was some kind of young master. Ordering Dirk and Jimmy around was one thing, but did he think he could push me around too? I scrambled to right the cup and snapped at him, my face dark. "If you want food, go buy it yourself! Are you looking to get slapped? Moron." His expression shifted. "You've got some nerve, talking to me like that." I grabbed the cup, ready to fling the rest of the water at him. Dirk lunged to stop me. "Mickey! Calm down! If his girlfriend really is from money, and something happens to him, that's trouble you don't want." I set the cup down, furious, shot Vincent a look, and went to print a new file. When I got back, Vincent eyed the file in my hand and demanded, "Where's my burrito?" I ignored him. He started acting out again. "My stomach's growling and you won't even get me a burrito. I'm already stressed enough not knowing if it's a boy or a girl, and none of you even care." I slammed the fresh printout down on my desk. "If you think I don't care, quit. If you don't know the gender, go find out. Am I your dad or your grandpa? Why should I have to wait on you? All I've got for you is a fist. You want a taste?" Vincent, having gotten neither his burrito nor an ounce of sympathy, only a fresh round of insults, exploded. "How dare you talk to me like that?! You think I won't have Liza fire you right now?" I raised an eyebrow. I was Mickey Bogarde, the founder of the Bogarde Group's own flesh-and-blood son. The company I was interning at was just one branch of my own family's business. Whoever this Liza Vincent kept talking about, she thought she could fire me? Was she the queen of England? "Go ahead, get her. Have her fire me right now. I'd love that." "You just wait. Don't come crying back to me later." He stormed off and slammed the door behind him. He came back not much later, acting like nothing had happened, though his eyes kept darting away from mine. I crossed my arms. "So? When's Liza firing me?" Vincent, clearly bluffing, doubled down anyway. "Liza is busy. Not everyone has as much free time as you. Consider yourself lucky for now. Once she's got a minute, you'll be crying." I watched his performance with plenty of patience to spare. "Sure. I'll be waiting." It seemed his girlfriend might actually be someone fairly high up in the company. But if Vincent had done even a little digging, he'd have found out exactly who I was. Clearly, he hadn't bothered. Thinking his Liza could match me, even dreaming of marrying into money and living off some rich family, that was about the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. I found myself curious who this Liza actually was. Thinking back on how Vincent had been sneaking peeks at my phone lately, a name suddenly flashed through my mind. I think I knew exactly who it was.